On the bright side, at least Fifty Shades Freed isn’t split into two parts. The finale of the
most unlikely franchise comes around to grace us with its presence one last
time. The optimistic angle means hoping and praying that the threequel can be
just a bit better than the predecessors, even if that doesn’t mean much in the
long run.
Believing they've left behind the shadowy figures from the past, billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and his new wife, Anastasia (Dakota Johnson), fully embrace their inextricable connection and shared life of luxury. Just as the Greys begin to step into their new roles, sinister events come to light and jeopardize their happy ending before it even begins.
The story, if you can call it that, is completely as nonsensical
and erratic as you’d expect from the franchise based on a novel that started as
Twilight fanfiction. In a never-ending cycle of conflict, resolution, and then
conflict again, the franchise is nothing if not consistent. And rather than be
what it apparently wants to be, a steamy albeit hollow romance film, it rattles
up these melodramatic moments better suited for daytime television, complete
with faulty logic and confusing moments.
Dakota Johnson is a good actress. And I’ve heard decent
things about Jaime Dornan from his show, The Fall. But the greatest thespians
in Hollywood couldn’t save this dialogue. At this point we know the
characters are never going to actually develop. Bella Ana will continue
to trust the man that continually lies. And Edward Christian will
continue to keep secrets despite claiming to need Ana. One has to imagine that
the dialogue is even worse on the page, which begs the question: how did this
become a worldwide phenomenon?
Although I may have delivered compliments to Dornan and
Johnson before, that doesn’t change the fact that their chemistry isn’t any
better three films in. It appears better but that feels more about them coming
to terms with their roles (or being thankful its finally over). Not an ounce of
the film feels the least romantic or “erotic”, delving into kidnapping plots
and marriage drama with occasional music from the soundtrack played over
characters portraying “emotion”.
Overall, Fifty Shades
Freed does not do anything different from the first two and continues the
franchise streak of being one of the worst of their respective years. Yes, I
know we’re only two months into 2018, but if Fifty Shades Freed doesn’t make most people’s worst of the list
year it’ll be due to the sheer forgettable nature of it. The biggest positive
from the film has to be that the two leads are finally freed from this horrendous
franchise.
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