Earlier in the week I reviewed two less than average films that
attempted to bring the superhuman team, the Fantastic Four, to the big screen.
The third attempt titled Fantastic Four (or Fant4stic as it’s referred to in
all the marketing) is the latest in a series of disappointing films about
Marvel’s first family. Expectations for the movie were at an all time low, and
the film still managed to fall flat and disappoint in every imaginable way.
Reed Richards
(Miles Teller) is a pretty smart kid, a genius really, and sets out to invent
teleportation. And with the help of his new buddy Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell) he is
able to accomplish this at the young age of only ten years old. Over the next
seven years, tinkering with the device allows the two to almost perfect the
process, enough to get noticed by Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey) and his
daughter Susan (Kate Mara). With their help and some good old government funding
Reed sets out to truly perfect the teleportation process. With some help from
the reluctant Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan) and the slightly batty Victor
von Doom (Toby Kebbell), Reed and the team finishes this inter-dimensional
transporter. And thus everything goes downhill from there.
Honestly the first
part of the film isn’t terrible. Certainly not good, but its somewhat passable.
The characters are introduced in a good way and the science is actually
somewhat interesting. But once they complete this machine that will transport
them to ‘Dimension Z’, all logic goes out the window. These supposed smart characters immediately
start making dumb decisions, like going into the machine with no training at
all or any supervision of any kind. It devalues exactly how smart they’re
supposed to be by making them extremely careless in that regard.
The character
development is some of the worst in recent memory, as every member of the cast
is one dimensional to the highest degree. Reed is simply the smart guy, Sue is
good with patterns and kind of smart too and Ben is angry with Reed, despite Reed
doing nothing wrong. The only character who has any sort of personality is
Johnny. There are some slight undertones of jealously towards his adopted
sister and a little resentment towards his father, but this is truly scraping
the bottom of the barrel.
No one, and I mean
absolutely no one, is into his or her respective roles. Every actor is going
through the motions as if they know how terrible their lines of dialogue truly
are. That’s not even the biggest issue in terms of the script either. The story
is just incoherent and boring, often not making any sense and not spending
enough time in scenes to develop any attachment to these characters.
And then there is
Dr. Doom himself. Somehow they, the filmmakers, have managed to screw up the
villain even more than before. After a very untimely accident in the first act,
he isn’t seen again until its time for the climax. When he is finally brought back into the fray,
his actions make zero sense. Sure his character didn’t like people and what was
happening to the Earth, but all of sudden he wants to end the world in some big
anticlimactic fashion.
The film has no
problem getting there either, as it is so rushed it completely skips its second
act and heads straight for the big battle at the end. The finale is dull and
resolved so quickly it leaves you wondering whether the movie is actually
ending. Doom, having just come back to wreak havoc, is taking people out one by
one without even lifting a finger, possessing almost god-like powers. However
when he faces the titular team, those powers magically fade away. Not only is
he defeated, but it’s almost laughable how easily the team is able to dispose
of the villain. Just like that, five
minutes after being introduced, the villain is dead and gone, leaving the film
with a very abrupt end.
Fant4stic features
many laughable moments in fact. The CGI is awful in some parts including a
magical disappearing tank and a facial change that looks straight off of the
ScyFy channel. The Thing does look good however, far and away better than the
previous films interpretation. The film
carries no emotional weight or stakes and scenes that are meant to be serious
provide humor instead. Not intended humor, but ‘Wow I can’t believe how bad
that is’ humor. The intended humor isn’t really there at all, as it would clash
with the dark and devoid of fun tone the film has.
Overall Fant4stic
is a woeful, dull, and un-fun endeavor. I could continue for a couple more
pages over the many issues the film has, hell I didn’t even touch the supposed
on set problems, but this review is already pretty long as it is. The movie
doesn’t provide much to compliment besides a decent portrayal of Johnny Storm,
a slightly interesting first thirty minutes, and a better-looking Thing. Without
question I think its safe to say that sequel Fox planned isn’t going to happen.
(1.5/10)
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